Why Should Women Be More Circumspect When it comes to Choosing a Man Than Men?

Mama’s emotional story was very cathartic—recounting it actually allowed her to release buried emotions. As tears continued to flow down her bony cheeks in alarming quantity, she lamented her decision twenty-five years ago to have agreed to marry a white foreigner from England—Patricia’s Dad. She now says it was her marriage to that man who altered her love life forever. She was actually seeking forgiveness from us—for having allowed her self to be used and dumped by one foreigner after another. Had she adhered to the lessons taught to them by grandma at the dinner table, she wouldn’t have to regret over the past and wished it hadn’t happened.

Mama was those kinds of women who cared mostly about the quality of a cup at the expense of what it contained. Mama’s introspective examination of her motives led her to conclude that she must have been at fault in the type of men she chose to fall in love with. She used that opportunity to educate my two elder sisters—Cecelia and Patricia about their love lives. She now wanted to make sure that none of them would repeat the mistakes she had done.

What had been bothering me since then was that, why all the emphasis on my sisters and not me? Does it mean men don’t also make mistakes in the quest for love? Why was Mama blaming her self for all that happened to her love life and not the men who had also contributed to her plight? Does this mean that whenever loves fails, women should take the blame? Or that, it is only mothers who always have to seek forgiveness from their children whenever they realize they are at the wrong side of love?

Why should women be more circumspect when it comes to choosing a man than men? Does it mean that women are always at the short end of the love stick?


 To be continued…